I’ve been sedentary for a week, on yet another sick leave from work after severe chest pains caused by my plummeting blood count. It’s no fun. I have to rest and avoid overexerting myself. It’s like my body aged and ailed twice than natural.
Besides home, I’ve only been to the grocery. That’s the farthest I’ve been since last Sunday morning. That was after the Terno Inferno at SaGuijo which I am both pissed and unfortunate to not thoroughly enjoy. I was at Katipunan earlier that afternoon for a photo exhibit by a former boss and I felt absolutely fine, even finished three plates of pizza and baked macaroni. Then, I went to Makati to meet my friend Yna, who I haven’t seen in months (she’s a Med student) and Gabby, my constant Terno companion.
We missed our bus stop, so we had to walk two blocks to get to SaGuijo. When we arrived there, I have no appetite. The girls had pasta and pizza. I only had a slice of pizza and obviously I can’t drink alcohol since I have no plans on being dehydrated after dengue. But the first set began and though it’s still fairly ventilated inside, I’m already feeling queasy. Nevertheless, it felt good to listen to Maude. That night had an amazing lineup so that’s just one of the few reasons I decided to come. By the time The Charmes’ set was up (it was also the launch of their music video for ‘Let Me Dream’ and their first Inferno set in months), I had to go out because I felt like I was gonna suffocate, then pass out. It was a miracle how I got through until The Ringmaster and Radioactive Sago Project – both sets which I felt better and enjoyed Lourd De Veyra’s quips about Freddie Aguilar and his infant girlfriend. Same as The Ringmaster whose album I thoroughly enjoyed and might be my favorite local record this year yet. Sadly, the other sets I found myself sleeping. Not because of boredom (impossible), but of exhaustion. I did not see that coming. And worse, during Up Dharma Down’s set, which was the last, I was one of the few people at the front who squeezed enough room to sit down – so I can rest. And sleep. I think that was the first time in my life that I slept against my will. I only caught verses of their songs, but miraculously, I managed to wake up long enough to listen to the entire, and powered-up, live version of ‘Hiwaga’. And then I forgot everything else again. I wanted to rush home after the show so there’s no more post-gig chats like before. The one other nice thing that happened while we are on the cab on our way home was that it passed through Morayta and Recto Blvd. so I saw FEU again after years. God, I miss school. Things were much simpler, but admittedly, not as fun – music experience-wise. And then that’s when I got to the bus station and set Minus the Bear’s ‘Excuses’ on loop all the way home, then woke up hours later having that crushing chest pain that made me genuinely believe that I was gonna die – no exaggeration.
I think I should slow down. I’ve always known I shouldn’t be trying TOO hard to do best at work, I mean, of course I should deliver what is expected. But overall, I just know that at the end of the day, career success does not lie in this country. I just know it.
Bottom line, my dad wants me to quit my job. I won’t – not now, but I’ll just be your average news blogger in the corporate ladder for now. And then off to the other side of the world with the family, a very much neglected task I’ve put off for the longest time now.
Goals, MC, goals.