Interviewer: Let’s start with how every interview starts. Tell me about yourself.
Me: I am a very passionate person. I am not what people call a ‘social butterfly’, but I am well-adjusted and content with my friends. I love to write, read, watch movies, and listen to music. Rather boring, but that suits me fine.
I: I don’t think it is. Passionate is very good. Thank you for being honest with me.
M: It’s a tired, and rather corny, cliche, but I do believe it. “Honesty is the best policy.”
I: And I agree with you. I see here that you are a registered nurse, but you haven’t been practicing. Why is that?
M: Saving lives is a very huge responsibility. Lives depend on whether you make it wrong or right. Not that I am running away from it, but it is a choice I’d like to make when I am confident my own life is something I can save.
I: So why writing?
M: To tell the things I can’t.
I: You’ve been writing about music for a couple of websites. Would you say that’s where you feel comfortable about?
M: Music is, in every way, a lifesaver. It’s hard to imagine my life now if it wasn’t for music.
I: Would you care to elaborate on that?
M: Of course. Two years ago, a friend asked me to go with him to this album launch. I haven’t been to a gig before in my life and I was going through a rough time. I wanted to escape. So then we went to this place with a very steep roadside and I thought how that is such a metaphor for my life. But when we got in and this band started playing, I cried. Just wept silently. It was not because someone just broke my heart, but because that very moment, I knew. I will be okay.
I: Must be a really special performance.
M: It was. It really was. That’s how I got started.
I: Thanks to that friend.
M: Thanks to him.
I: Aside from writing about music, what else do you write about?
M: Pretty much everything that I am confident that I can translate into words. My life, my experiences, rants, raves. As I got more training on technical writing, my creative writing was never impeded somehow.
I: I see that. What do you feel you are most uncomfortable writing about?
M: Feelings. But then I have to. Either I exorcise them or let them take over me.
I: What happens if they take over?
M: They win. In the end, it’ll always be you versus you.
I: But at least you can write about them.
M: That’s how I win.
I: And you write well.
M: I can’t tell for sure.
I: To be honest with you, I don’t think you have a problem with that, writing, expressing your feelings, I mean. Your communication skills are very good. I’m impressed.
M: Thank you. That’s very kind. But I have to disagree.
M: Because it’s not the same thing.
I: How so?
M: Because I can’t even tell the man I love that I love him. I hide behind words and my allusions and the little scenarios that I create because I can’t tell him. This is why I write, why I write about him. To say the things I can’t. He will never know. He and I will never go farther, not have a beginning. We will never be.
M: I’m never going to have this job, am I?